Gerbilprobe.com is live!

February 16, 2017 at 8:04 am (Art, Bizarro, Death, Music, News, Parody, Personal, Politics, Review, Theatre, Work)

Yes friends and fans, after years of neglect by yours truly, gerbilprobe.com has been completely re-designed from the ground up and is live! The lovely Sauda Namir helped bring it to the modern internet age with a slick new design that is responsive, cool and easy to update. Check out my music, writing, performance and everything in between all in one place. Let us know what you think after you click around a little while!

http://www.gerbilprobe.com

(The media empire of Michael Allen Rose!)

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Flood Damage will KILL YOUR TV!

April 6, 2016 at 9:23 pm (Music, Personal) (, , , , )

Here you go, damage addicts! It’s time to change the channel. Break free of the mind control! Pick up the hammer and start smashing! KILL YOUR TV!

TV Land Murders is available on the album Instructions For The Assembly Of God(s) which can be found on most digital music retail sites.

You can buy the CD directly from the artist at http://michaelallenrose.storenvy.com

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Flood Damage is seXXXee. FREE TRACK for YOU!

October 15, 2015 at 7:56 am (Music) (, )

This one is a long time fan favorite. Even if you don’t know it by heart, you know it’s the one where I tend to get naked on stage, when we play it live. Enjoy and share!

(Buy the album at http://michaelallenrose.storenvy.com directly from the artist!)

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Us vs. Them: Round 1

December 30, 2009 at 8:27 am (Music, Work) (, , , )

The music floats into my office through the open door. I keep it open because I don’t want to seem unapproachable. She’s singing along to it, the receptionist in the rolly-chair. It’s praise music. I fire up my last.fm account, randomize it to play my library and hit play. This battle will be epic.

ROUND 1

Hers: “Praise him. PRAAAAAISE him! He is RISEN!”

Mine: “I got an F and a C, and I got a K too, and the only thing that’s missing is a bitch like U…”

Hers: “Hallelujah, he is risen!”

Mine: “You wanted perfect? I got your perfect, now I’m too perfect for someone like you. What’s my name? What’s my name? Ha ha, ha ha. Hold the S, because I am an ‘ain’t.'”

ANALYSIS:

Jesus rose up early in round 1 and was roundly praised by the crowd for his magical dance moves and fancy footwork. The crowd was excited to see him back for another fight.

Marilyn Manson comes in to represent the other corner, and boy is he mad. He comes out swinging with some trash talk, and calls out his opponent using some somewhat shaky wordplay.

Jesus lands a right cross, rising once again. His hovering certainly throws his opponents off. It looks like it’s time for the Hallelujah! He’s setting up for his finishing move! And…

No, Manson counters with the “too perfect.” Manson is now officially too perfect for Jesus, despite all the rising that’s going on in the ring. Christ can’t touch his pasty goblin ass! And…

It’s over! Evil wins Round 1! And they are celebrating. Look at that showboating: “What’s my name? What’s my name?” How about “Poor sportsmanship!?” We’ll be back after the break for round 2.

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