11-year-old got tired of shouting at cars to slow down on his street

July 17, 2008 at 4:47 pm (News, Writing) (, )

(Hey Keith, I’m stealing your news blog format. You’re the old hand at this, of course, but I like stealing. It makes me feel alive.)

LOUISVILLE, Ky. – Landon Wilburn, 11, has a future as a cop – a traffic cop.

(They do say that childhood obesity is on the rise, after all. Insert donut joke.)

The youngster, who used to shout at speeders to slow down as they drove through the Stone Lakes subdivision in Louisville, now has taken matters into his own hands.

(He’s only 11 years old and he’s already shouting at passing cars to slow down in his neighborhood? What it neglects to mention is that his favorite drink is prune juice, he can’t stop watching Matlock, and he hates it when his school friends stand “on his lawn.” Also, doesn’t the quote about him taking matters in his own hands sound kind of sinister? “Landon likes to lay spike-strips and landmines near his house to prove a point…”)

Dressed in a reflective vest, wearing a bicycle helmet and armed with an orange Hot Wheels brand radar gun, he points and records the actual speed of passing traffic.

(Oddly enough, this is also a pretty apt description of the homeless guy near my bus stop who rants about Jesus.)

Landon also carries a flashlight with a built-in siren.

(In case of terrorists.)

“When I saw it happening, I got the biggest kick out of it,” said resident George Ayers, 61. “People were locking up their brakes when they saw him.”

(“Cars skidding all over the road… screaming people running from the wreckage… ah, youth…”)

Many in the subdivision are frustrated that motorists tear through the neighborhood at 55 mph despite signs posting a 25 mph limit.

(Wouldn’t it be nice if we could send a feisty 11-year-old outside to solve all our suburban troubles? “Hey, George won’t paint his fence white like the rest of the block. Let’s get that Landon kid to stand on his lawn and yell until he caves in.”)

Officials said the city will install speed humps in the neighborhood if 70 percent of residents agree and are willing to put up half the money.

(Glad they’re shooting for 70%, because half of Landon’s allowance won’t even pay for the tar.)

Permalink Leave a Comment

A Return to Form

July 17, 2008 at 12:49 pm (Personal, Writing) ()

I’ve been having minor revelations lately, and I think it’s time to start sharing them with the world again. I haven’t blogged in quite some time, so please forgive me, dear reader, if I tend to ramble and seem to have lost some of my style during these last few months of drought.

You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you. ~Ray Bradbury

A handful of people who are important to me have been concerned about my complete lack of creative output these past few months, and with good reason. Writers write. I have not been writing. Have I been thinking about writing? Perhaps, but perhaps that’s not enough. As an existentialist, I understand that meaning lies not in the intent, but in the action.

The act of putting pen to paper encourages pause for thought, this in turn makes us think more deeply about life, which helps us regain our equilibrium. ~Norbet Platt

Thus have I been contributing to my own decline as a writer. Long ago, in the throes of divorce and heartache, I told someone that the only things that kept me sane were the love of my significant other, and my creative output. I have one of those, but I’ve been neglecting the other, and so the cycle begins:

  1. I am overworked, worried and tired, so I do not write.
  2. I do not write, so I become depressed and angry with myself.
  3. I am angry with myself, and so I use my energy up with self-loathing and become more tired.

Hideous. That said, this blog you are reading is the first of several steps I’m taking in order to get myself moving again, to unleash that kinetic energy that’s been building up and wasting itself, to motivate myself to do what it is that I do. Paige, Keith and Greg get special kudos for support in this particular matter.

But in the end, writing is a solitary activity. So now it’s my ball.

Being an author is like being in charge of your own personal insane asylum. ~Graycie Harmon

For those of you who enjoyed what I was scribbling before this long hiatus, look for:

  • The return of my Thought Experiments
  • Occasional news updates about life, love and lemurs
  • Snippets of new works, poetry, songs, plays, etc.

If nothing else, I want to entertain people again. What can I say? I’m an art-whore. For those of you who are still around, and who still count yourself among my friends, thanks, and please drop a comment or two. My new blog (frequently/freakishly updated) will reside at flooddamage.wordpress.com

The time is nigh. Love.

Permalink 7 Comments