Ninjas vs. Pirates

March 16, 2005 at 11:25 am (Uncategorized)


Misconceptions about ninjas:

Ninjas do NOT wear spandex.
A Samurai is NOT a ninja.
Dragon Ball Z characters
are NOT ninjas.
If you see a ninja, he is
NOT a ninja.

Misconceptions about pirates:

A Pirate is NOT a rat
that eats pies.
Pirates do NOT have
special powers beyond normal humans.
Pirates do NOT know
how to breakdance.

Pirates do NOT have
a curse



Ruthless and brutal Lack any personality
Wear eye patches Wear headbands
Fight with swords Fight skillfully
with any object
Represented by
a skull and bones
Can remove a spleen
in one swift motion
Obnoxious and
stink horribly
Live in your house
secretly for days
Have large shadows
from being fat
Can remove their shadow
if needed
Launch cannonballs Hurl shurikens
Ride in big wooden
Go anywhere they want
Put daggers in their
Catch bullets
in their teeth
Say "Arrrrrrrrrrgghh" Kill themselves if
they make a noise
Limp with pegged
Can run 100 miles
on their hands
Taught by
other pirates
Train 20 hours/day
starting from age 2
Have names like Schmee Have cool words like
Can be smelled before
Are masters of disguise
Use rowboats Can hover for hours
Drink all day
Flip out and kill
Rely on other
crew members
Are completely self-sufficient.
Make traitors walk
a wooden plank
Split planks vertically
with their nose
Don’t bother hiding,
Can hide in incense
Kill people with
black powder guns
Kill people.

So, as you can plainly see, although both sides have many good
points, ninjas are clearly the ultimate fighting machines and would win in any
battle (fair, or unfair.) Sure, pirates have comedy value, but ninjas have free
"service" from geisha girls, which is worth twice as much as comedy on
the free-market. This opinion courtesy of Michael A. Rose, content for argument
used from (thanks!)


1 Comment

  1. iheartfiber said,

    you are one crazy mofo 😀

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